Thursday, August 18, 2005

T.O. and Pop Warner football

This is a must read on a day when there is no real T.O. news.

It comes from Broken Newz

Thursday, August 18, 2005
Terrell Owens Sent To Pop Warner League To Work On Maturity
8/18/2005 - Matt Myford

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In a shocking move Wednesday, the Philadelphia Eagles sent disgruntled wide receiver Terrell Owens to "the nearest Pop Warner league so a bunch of seven-year olds" can teach him how to "act more maturely."
Owens has been feuding with coach Andy Reid, quarterback Donovan McNabb, and the Philadelphia media in a concerted effort to acquire the biggest ego in post-Napoleonic history.

Reid dismissed Owens from training camp last week, saying his star wideout nagged him enough times to "make it feel like my wife was in training camp with me."

Owens should "greatly benefit" from being around children, an Eagles team psychologist said. "If we can get him to start acting like he's eight when the regular season rolls around, we're ahead of the curve."

"Generally speaking, most professional athletes are like big, brawny pre-teenagers," said a behavioral psychologist. "Kind of like an 11-year old who can kick your ass. Owens, however, is behaviorally deficient even by those standards. Think of him as a toddler with big biceps who can run a slant pattern."

Owens will be forced "to run on his knees" and "tackle gently" in his new league, according to his agent Drew Rosenhaus. "He'll also learn stuff like not talking over coaches, waiting in line at the water cooler, and to refrain from referring to himself in the third person."

In other NFL news, Denver Broncos' 64-year old wide receiver Jerry Rice went to run a fly pattern today and "his left leg just fell off."

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